was a dreary day in WadAsia... dark clouds had hung above the land, still and black, while a faint thunder could be heard rolling in from the west... The air was still, damp and cold, and there were only the sounds of the birds and beer bottles to be heard throughout the land...

The townsfolk had gathered in the courtyard of the WadAsian castle to bare witness to a great moment in WadAsian history.... The return of Bon Bon John the Awful!

The Awful one had sent word by messenger that he intended to return to the ranks, and to again possess the Kingship... though first, he exclaimed, he had some matters to resolve with the treacherous Sir Jeffulot... Those two (Jeffulot & Awful) go way back to the WadAsian Glory Years of Doom, when (legend has it) that they'd battled for three days once only to end in a draw!

The commonfolk had now gathered in masses, filling the bleachers and crowding each alleyway and balcony... The bookies were waving around stat pamphlets and chanting out various warrior statistics, like "swing-to-hit ratio" and "number of confirmed kills", drawing a crazed crowd of gamblers to circle them waving WadAsian currency.... The true spirit of WadAsia was again at hand...

The crowd eagerly awaited the arrival of the two Warriors as they guzzled WadAsian ale and sampled famous WadAsian pastries... Vendors were selling such well known trinkets as the "King Kev doll" and the "King Kev slippers", now well known from the legendary tales of WadAsian script found in the Museum of WadAsian History and now required reading for young school warriors...

Alas the Warriors arrived from separate sides of the courtyard, each proudly mounted on the finest of mares and displaying the finest shiney WadAsian armor... Each, in unison, dismounted and awkwardly clanked toward the podium at the edge of the arena... There, at center, a temporary "stand in" for the Spiritual leader Bodhisattva read from ancient text as he flailed his hands about wildly and as the crowd comicly ignored him... The two warriors had continued to make faces at one another and secretly flick boogers onto the other's armor... Finally, the speaker's "blah blah's" were done and the warriors were led to the blood stained fighting area... The crowd's rage became deafening as the two warriors wielded their weapons....

At once, the battle had begun... The Awful one had slashed Jeffulot with an unexpected swipe to his left arm, sending a shreak of obscenities and various Jeffu-isms throughout the castle as he checked his arm.... "Fucking Maggot!!!" Jeffulot shouted as he kicked Awful in the groin and slapped his helmet off os his head... "You didn't say "GO"!!!!"... the crowd snickered, and numerous betting tickets rapidly exchanged hands...

The warriors began circling each other exchanging blow after blow to the middle body, clanking here, clanking there, and attempting to wear the other down for a kill....

The crowd, as they watched the battle, kept glancing toward the window to the Kings' chambers, hoping to catch a glimpse of the famous King Kev... but the King never showed his face, obviously way too busy tending to important WadAsian matters such as "the color of the drapes" and "daisies or tulips should go here"... ah yes... the mighty King... hehe, "mighty so some'd say....."

Alas the Awful one had begun to stumble about as his thoughts turned to ale and women, he began to receive blow after blow as he gasped for air... swinging his sword wildly and randomly, in hopes that the quick and agile Jeffulot would run into it....

It was apparent that the once mighty warrior had not been training as rigorously as he'd claimed...

Though his skills and warriorocities were quite apparent, he received a shattering blow from the mighty Sir Jeffulot, sending him to his knees... Sir Jeffulot, holding his sword high above Awful's head and towering above him with almost unscratched armor, screamed loudly "This... I do for WadAsia... and for the King!!!!!!!"... suddenly, Jeffulot reached into his armor and retrieved a King Kev doll and tossed it high into the air... The crowd followed the ascent of the doll in surprise as Sir Jeffulot made quick and wild motions with his sword... Ending his performance with a wonderful back flip and landing just in front of the tattered Awful one... the King Kev doll then landed between them, precisely cut and dismembered, the King Kev doll was mutilated and was obviously a gesture made to the pussy King of their battle to come.... "I...... will.... rule WadAsia!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted the mighty warrior as he tossed bits of the doll into the crowd that was already in hysteria throwing betting tickets in every direction....

Sir Jeffulot turned toward the King's chamber window and threw a huge rock that blasted through the glass.... "YOU ARE NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he shouted as helped the Awful one up and to his feet, enjoying the crowd's appluase and roses being thrown in his direction... Then soon retiring together to the WadAsian tavern to laugh and guzzle the finest of WadAsian ales and talk badly of the now pussified King Kev...
~ Property of the WadAsian High Council


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