he wise Bodhi awakens from a cold sweat....

I had a dream...A knightmare really....in this dream the pagan keyboarders were attempting to attack the holy temple of Grandmaster Gib and Master Albino Bob (both famous mousers)...I as a pagan keyboarder was firing my rockets (aimlessly and with little control) at the temple....as were the rest of my keyboard brothers....Bad Mo Fo was dancing around as was Sir Jeffulot...we attacked in waves and many space bars were pressed as we were destroyed by Albino Bob/Gib's amazing accuracy.....Many times the amazing Bob rocket jumped into the rafters to rain down death and destruction on all below....The Gib-Meister would simply side step all rockets and continue filleting us like a sabre through butter...

We (the keyboard pagans) took solace in the fact that the top positions in WadAsia's hierarchy were held by keyboarders....Bad Mo Fo screamed "I am the King dammit!!!Fear me"...just as Albino Bob (the devourer of souls) bounced a grenade up his arse.....

We fought as men possesed...yet we could not even approach the holy temple of Gib Kwon Do....Waves of us attacked and were beaten back.....

The last thing I could remember of this dream was Albino Bob (the death bringer) standing over my dead corpse with a look of true sadness and telling Grandmaster Gib "If he had only listened..."

I awoke trembling...."All this time I have made excuses for my keyboard addiction....I had attempted the mouse before but was quickly shaking and suffering from keyboard withdrawal...I could not kick my addiction"

I then realized that while our King and several of WadAsia's finest were also keyboarders....The two most famous WadAsian...the two most feared WadAsians...the two men that held no rank because they needed no rank..namely Albino Bob (the soul devourer) and Gib-Meister (what else is there?) were mousers...and each had tried to get me to switch...but I had been a fool!!!!

I dressed quickly.....rode my stallion to the local WadAsian computer store and bought a new 3-button mouse....I then packed my belongings and headed north....towards the wildlands of Rhode Island..where the temple of Gib Kwon Do was secreted....

I was let into the inner chamber of this holiest of places to see the Grandmaster and Master....I fell to my knees sobbing and begged for forgivenss and swore to cast off my keyboard addiciton if they would only train me in the art of mouse warfare....

The seven foot giant (Albino Bob)let out a hearty laugh and said "We will train you....but only if you can prove yourself worthy"...GrandMaster Gib was levitaing in the Lotus position and was deep in meditation....so as not to disturb him, Albino Bob (the feared) took me to the Gib Kwon Do training center....The first thing he did was sever my keyboard from the enter key over with his mighty battle axe....."There...no more arrow keys for you!!"

I began my training....I ran into the lava hundreds of time...I attempted the patented Albino Bob (Death from above) rocket jump, only to blow myself up...hundreds of times....I would cry myself to sleep every night and long for the safety and security of my nice warm keyboard....But I slowly began to see the innumerable advantages of the keyboard....Master Bob taught me his secret keyboard configuration, while Grandmaster Gib shared his rocket trajectory fomulas with me....Master Bob showed me how to soar to new heights with his rocket jump...and Grandmaster Gib taught me his super secret dive bomb maneuver.....Slowly things began to happen...I learned that WadAsia is not merely a 2 D box...I learned to look everywhere...above me...below me...behind me..all with a flick of my wrist....

I realized that I had been limiting myself and had been too scared to challenge others above me..Content to keep my rank of troll (bleh!!)

This will soon change...

Bodhisattva-author of the 12 step process to cure keyboard addiction disorder

*other disclaimer: author's opinions are his own and DO NOT represent the feelings of the WadAsian High Council
~ Property of the WadAsian High Council


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