he United WadAsian Nations (UWN) met today to vote on a very serious and
touchy subject... The wide spread malicious use of an unconventional weapon
called the "BFG".
A finely dressed lawyer representing the DKNPS (Department for a Kind,
Nurturing and Pussified Society) was in front of the commission displaying
charts, video clips, and other seared flesh exhibits to strengthen their
case against the opposing party, the KTA (Kill Them All) organization.
"Please note here in this video how the flesh of the cow is pulled from all
directions until it releases from the bone" he exclaimed in a saddened
voice as the video progressed in slow motion.
A small group from the KTA stood up almost immediately and began to
applaud, spilling their popcorn on the observers around them.. "Bravo!...
Yes!... Hooo! Hooo! Hooo!.." they yelled as they motioned and gestured
approval for the hideous acts being done to the poor cow.
The lawyer continued, "We also measure the amount of pain the cow
experienced before actually dying, and though the dismemberment is swift,
the brain has enough time to realize the pain that it is...is..." he said
as he began to tear up as part of his speech...
The members of the KTA began to laugh loudly and were drawing quite the
attention to themselves... "You homos crack us up!" yelled the President of
the KTA, Bad Mo Fo. Is not the point of warfare to kill, cause pain, and
further suppress all possibility of resistance?" he said as he chuckled in
The lawyer was disgusted and began to loudly criticize Bad Mo Fo, pointing
and gesturing, he ridiculed and mocked him until he unknowingly sealed his
own fate... Losing his temper, Bad Mo Fo reached into a large leather bag
and pulled out exhibit "B"... That's right, a live and fully charged BFG
was "in the house"...
Hundreds of committee members were sent running for their lives while the
lawyer stood motionless in fear... Standing alone he peered back at the
Bad Mo Fo that stood calmly pointing the BFG at him and grinning with disgust.
Sweat dripped from the lawyer's face as he began to tremble... "You are crazy!"
he said as he turned and awkwardly darted toward a side door...
"Yee Haw!!!!!!!!!" Bad Mo Fo exclaimed as he discharged the BFG... Sending
a blast of deafening energy toward the fleeing maggot... His flesh flew in
every direction, decorating the walls, the floor and the ceiling...
The only group that had stayed for the remainder of the show stood up and
applauded while they chewed their popcorn and praised Bad Mo Fo for his
timely performance... "Bravo old chap!... perfectly executed.... got it all
on film for ESPN!.." they shouted as Bad Mo Fo took his bows.
The KTA group retreated to their waiting getaway car and sped away...
The headline of the next day's newspaper read... "One Dead, BFG outlawed in
Tournament but still widely used".
~ Property of the WadAsian High Council
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