las... Sitting in his throne, the newly crowned King of WadAsia is eagerly awaiting the royal messenger to return with the crown. Admiring the design of the interior castle walls, Draven is just pondering what could be done to fix up the place.
Walking over to the window, he looks down in the courtyard and sees a partially chiselled sculpture of the late king Tracker. "Damien, Cujo, come here!", as Draven calls for his 2 loyal hounds from hell. "Cochice!" orders Draven, and the hounds take off running out of the castle.
Looking down at the statue, Draven sees Damien and Cujo run up to the statue and begin to piss all over it. "Good dogs!!!!! Now destroy that statue." orders Draven. Villagers begin to smash the remains of the statue with pick-axes, and hoes.
Walking back to his throne, there came a knocking at the door. Draven answers the door to find the WPS (WadAsia Parcel Service) with a package in his hand. Signing for package, he opens it up to find the WadAsia Crown of the kings.
Looking at the crown, he starts to notice the names of former kings: Bodhi, BadMoFo, Sir Jeffulot... The names go on. Staring at the crown, Draven decides this is unacceptable for the King of WadAsia. Taking the sacred crown to the craftsman in the castle, Draven requests these names to be removed.
"Sire, you can't remove these names. Sir Jeffulot journeyed to the farthest reaches of the land to find this enchanted head piece." replies one of the craftsman. "Sir Jeffulot is not King, and I don't care if he got this from a box of cracker jacks, I do not want these other names on here." requests Draven.
The craftsman work diligently to remove the names of the former kings, and after hours of work, the crown looks brand new. "I would like my name engraved in the crown." says Draven. "Sire, we cannot engrave the crown, Fubster, the WadAsian engraver needs to do it, and he is not in today, I think he is 'working from home'." replies the craftsman.
"DO IT!!!!" screams Draven. The first craftsman working hard and fumbling with the holy engraving tools quickly returns with the crown. Inspecting the crown, Draven grabs the craftsman by the throat, and throws him against a wall. "It is DRAVEN, not DRIVEN!!!" screams Draven. "Sire, I am sorry, I am not familiar with his tools please forgive me." Draven grabs the craftsman again and smacks him over the head with a big metal pan of some sorts.
After sending him to the infirmary for not biding his wishes, Draven asks the second craftsman to fix the mistake of the first craftsman. "ok sire, I will do it, I never liked the other Kings anyway." Diligently the craftsman worked on the crown. Bringing it back to Draven for inspection, he was pleased with the work, and rewarded the craftsman generously.
Now with a crown that only says Draven, he places it in a case on his mantel high above the fireplace, not to wear, but to be admired by all.
~ Property of the WadAsian High Council
Return to Main...